Nicki Minaj- Magazine Photo Shoot [Ebony]

Man, I really liked their concept for this photoshoot. The final product was amazing.

After

They were after me.
I didn't know why
so I ran.

They grabbed me.
I didn't know why
so I fell.

They wanted answers.
I didnt know why
so I prayed.

Space

I went back to sleep.
Snooze.
Just for a little while and was distrubed 9 minutes later by that annoying sound that those android phone makes. (I cant complain, I made the ringtone that way on purpose to wake my ass up). The annoying touch screen fucks withmy mind because i have to keep fondling with the screen to make it shut the fuck up.

It was time for me to go on my journey. I did not want to leave my bed that morning. The sheets were feeling too soft. Waaay too soft and warm.
The outside air.
The air above my blankets was cold and harsh and alarming.

Never the less, i stepped in that machine. I didnt have a choice, plus they were paying me a fair amount of money. Enough to pay off those stupid college loans +plus enough food to last me a good few months.
and maybe a new pair of shoes or two.

Space.

It wasnt what it was all cracked up to be.
It wasn't exactly what the man made it up to be. It was What man named it to be : Space. No fucking magical stars around, no fucking shooting stars for me to wish millions upon. what the fuck i said. I risked my life for this shit. I thought the lights were going to inspire me, make me see things not many people get to see. Make me feel special you know.

My head started to hurt. Felt like a baseball hit the back of my head. Craked my skull all the way to the front. Making me see double vision. I tried to close my eyes. It only helped the eye pain. Nothing could help the head pain. It was what i imagined a car crash to be like. Hitting my head off of the steering wheel. My neck whippin back in slow motion to the back of the chair.

Back on Earth. Planet Earth.

Where is everyone? I was only gone for less than a day.
Infact, It was shorter than my 9-5 shift at that dumbass office I sit in.

There are no leaves on the trees.
No evidence leaves on the ground.
SO was there no spring or Autumn?

Just lifeless substances,
That once gave life?

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Lost.

for Reshawn Thurman

There is a cramp in my chest.

But it is my eyes that cry.

My heart bleeds.

I wish his could too.

~

I was actually in halmark, getting a mothersday card when i got the news. I was like yeah right? He's ok though right? No, it's the wrong guy they got him mixed up.

I was in doubt. Didn't want to believe it. Could not believe it. Friends dont die or at least you dont think that, best friends forever thats what we were. You would think like your friends get back up again, and pull through.

Pictures, Videos...memories. That is all that remains and will for ever be a part of me.

Deep down inside i felt slightly guilty. I would have went out friday night, and saw you after, if only i knew it wouldve been the last time. I would never have been upset with you.

Tears just kept rolling, i couldnt think straight all day. My mind crashed i had opened doors to madness. It shocked soo many people. Sooo many people loved you because of who you were. Confident, very-outgoing, friendly, loving. Soo many people were touched by this, shocked, in disbelief.

I just want to hug you again. Have fun again, act goofy. Make up skits, play wii, go out randomly.

The weekend of the Nor 'easter flood was when we grew stronger together. I still think about it. Water was everywhere every street. we were drinking. playing card games. haha

Your confidence rubbed off on others and everyone loved to be around you.

You met so many people, and you are hard to forget! That's just the type of guy you are. You always lived life to the fullest. I sometimes wished i could be like that, free-spirited, confident out -going

"He'll never be as fly as me doe" as you used to love to tell me.

"confident, not cocky"

your random texts. that never quite made sense.

the wiii, we loved to play the wiii even tho you were a sore loser lol.

You set up skype on my computer so that we could talk while you were in petersburg. You named it cassandraibe. I was like wat ? "like i be me" you said. I still sit down, thinking, wishing for a video call still.

I love you. Though times were tough. I still loved you and i hope deep down that you know that.

You will never be forgotten.

and your beautiful daughter, i pray for her. She's so young, but she will grow up to be strong just like you.

I will keep all of my memories of you. for ever.

R.I.P

~

I learned that, just make that time for your friend, cousin whoever, give them a call check up on them because who ever promised you that they will be there tomorrow?

Try not to hold grudges, life is just too short.

Don't let anyone hold you back, just do what you really want to do in life.

and to do your best in whatever you do.

I feel like i have changed mentally. I am alot stronger and definitely more aware about the value of life.

I'm going to bootcamp monday. I just want to use my new strength and be the best i can. if i signed up for it and put my self there, i may as well go all out. and become a strong, confident, (still fly doe) officer. :]

xox

Super Hero

Wouldn't it be awesome to be a superhero.

Walking around in stilettos and a tight leather spandex suit, with luxurious hair. Using some type of superhero shampoo that gives it shine and bounce.

Down

My heart is slowing down.
Down to a complete stop.
It's over.
Cold. Dead.
No longer, will pump blood again.
Nor love.

Freshman to Now

Taking a look at yourself now... a Junior - almost senior in College.

Take a look at yourself, freshamn year... a whole lot has changed.

I was really quiet and too nice and didnt quite stand up for myself. Ever.
and bitches tried to take advantage of that. yeah my freshamn year got rough at one point but i pulled it through. Somehow.

If only we could step back in time and and knock some sense into ourselves.

Oh well, shit happens, the least i can do is try not to think about mistakes that can't be changed.